None the Wiser
by A. Kline
Summary: Rachel gets her wisdom teeth removed and Quinn is there to -obsess over- take care of her. One-shot.


**None the Wiser**

Rachel slowly woke up from her anesthetic-induced sleep. She blinked a few times and thought, well that wasn't so bad! I feel like I'm on top of the world! She smiled through the pound of gauze that filled her mouth and sat up. She was quickly pushed back down by the dentist.

"Rachel, hey, you're awake. How do you feel? Stay laying down, okay? Your surgery went fine, all four of your wisdom teeth are now gone. We had to give you a little more anesthesia than planned to keep you asleep. You… kept rambling about how you were late for a Broadway show…"

Rachel heard a snicker from the corner and turned to see Quinn sitting in the same chair that she'd been in when Rachel had been put under. Quinn, no longer pregnant and very happy about it, stood up and tossed down the novel she'd been reading. She approached Rachel's chair and leaned over the brunette, "You were very adamant about not being put to sleep because you were going to miss the Hair reprise that you were starring in. I had to be brought into the room to calm you down so they could give you enough gas to put you to sleep."

But unbeknownst to Quinn, Rachel had tuned out after 'You were'. She smiled up at Quinn as best as she could and said, "Hi angel. I was informed that this surgery would not in any way affect my singing voice, but they didn't tell me that I would die. That's all right though, angel, you know why? I will tell you why. You look just like my wonderful girlfriend back on earth; her name is Quinn! Now angel, I shall date you until Quinn gets here." Quinn cocked an eyebrow and shared an uncomfortable look with the dentist while Rachel continued. "Now, go grab my convertible unicorn and we'll head home. I need a drink though, my mouth is awfully dry."

The dentist shuffled his feet awkwardly as Quinn stood by Rachel, holding her hand and smiling down at her like she was the most adorable thing on the planet. Well, hell, she really is, she thought with another smile. "I'll uh, go sign her papers while you… deal with her," Quinn said through a smirk as she turned and met up with a nurse.

The dentist tried, he really gave it a valiant effort, but Rachel would not listen to his explanations of what she needed to do now that the surgery was over. Every "and please try to avoid solid foods" on his part was met with "I told you, I will only eat gold stars so this conversation is irrelevant" from her. The dentist breathed a sigh of relief when Quinn came back, and apparently so did Rachel.

"Angel! I beckon you, angel."

Quinn cocked an eyebrow and turned to the dentist, "Hey, she's all signed out and good to go. I tried to get her dad to come in but he said there would be blood and-"

"No worries," the dentist hurriedly stammered as he shoved pamphlets into Quinn's hand, "Here. These have everything you need to know about how to treat her mouth. She's obviously very happy now, but when that anesthesia wears off in a few hours she will not be a happy camper. I prescribed pain meds, the paper is in the pamphlet. Good luck," he breathed out, giving Quinn a genuinely sorry look.

Quinn merely chuckled and grabbed Rachel's hand, "I hear you beckoned me, Rachel."

Rachel raised her chin haughtily, "I did, angel. It's time to go home." Quinn laughed and, with Rachel in tow, went to see her dads in the waiting room. She shared a laugh about the dentist's reaction to the shorter girl's dads. 'Some people just can't handle our Rachel like we can,' the shorter man had said. Quinn completely agreed.

* * *

><p>Four hours later and Quinn was more of a wreck than Rachel was.<p>

"Quinn, Quinn please just let me get up," Rachel begged.

"No!" Quinn all but shouted from her spot on the other end of the couch.

Rachel huffed, "Come on! I'm not even in that much pain anymore thanks to the pain medicine. I'm fully capable of maneuvering around the house, it's not like I had leg surgery."

Quinn set her jaw, "No, Rachel. You still had surgery. I was there, I saw what they did."

"Quinn, they took out four teeth, not a lung."

"You passed out."

Rachel groaned, "Are you ever going to let that go? It was three hours ago and I was just dizzy from the pain and the lack of nutrients in my body, Quinn."

Quinn's jaw did not loosen, in fact, her eyebrows shot up, "Dizzy. From. The. Pain. See? Please just, humor me, okay? I had to watch you have surgery and then I had to watch you just… slump over in front of me onto the floor. Just let me help you!"

Rachel sighed, but she knew Quinn was right, and she tried to smile because really, how could you not smile at Quinn when she was being all super girlfriendy? Rachel huffed for what felt like the thirtieth time that hour, "Fine. You want to help me?"

Quinn immediately perked up, "Yes, Rachel. I would love to help you."

"Come kiss me. I haven't had one since before the surgery," Rachel finished with a pout that was amplified by her swollen face.

Quinn melted, but her smile fell. "No."

Rachel blinked a few times, "Wait, what? Why not?"

"Have you seen your face?"

Rachel's entire body slumped, and Quinn sputtered to fix what she said, "No, no wait. I didn't mean that you're ugly! You're gorgeous as always and your nose isn't even that much bigger than normal. I just meant that I'm not going to touch you anywhere near your mouth, I don't want to mess anything up."

Said mouth now hung open, partly in shock and partly because it just wouldn't close right at the moment, "You're telling me that first, I'm not allowed to sing, and now I'm not allowed to kiss my girlfriend?"

Rachel just about bellowed that last part, but Quinn didn't even bat an eyelash, "Don't be dumb, Rachel."

"I'm not the one being dumb, Quinn. I'm going to kiss you."

"You may think you are, but you'd be sorely mistaken."

"Sorely? Nice, Quinn."

Quinn grinned sheepishly, "I'm going to go make you some soup, it's dinner time anyway. Since your dads are out for the night I figure you'll want to have a musical marathon in the living room. I'll get those for you after I finish your soup. So just stay there, okay?" Quinn said, her eyebrows raising, daring Rachel to defy her.

"Okay," Rachel said cheerily. Too cheerily, Quinn thought as she wandered into the kitchen. Cheerily enough that she bet if she waited…

Quinn stood in the kitchen and counted to ten. She was impressed that it took Rachel so little time to sneak to the stairs before she made a sound.

Quinn was behind Rachel in a flash, her arm wrapped around Rachel's waist, helping the shorter girl up the stairs.

"Quinn, I really resent-"

"I know," Quinn whispered, "and I'm sorry, Rach. I'm just so scared that something will happen to you. If you tell anyone about how sappy I am around you though, I'll deny it until the day I die."

Rachel paused mid-step and turned to Quinn, who was on the lower step. Rachel slightly frowned, "You're my girlfriend Quinn, you're expected to be sappy around me and only me. I don't like being taller than you."

Quinn shrugged, "I don't like you being an idiot either, but that didn't stop you from making your way up the stairs."

"And I would've made it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids."

Quinn rolled her eyes, "Okay, I was watching Scooby for like two hours last Saturday, you so need to drop it. Besides, you were totally hooked after the first twenty minutes."

Rachel sagged against Quinn's arm, "As refreshing as it is to bicker with you on our staircase, I didn't intend to stand for more than a few minutes. And at the risk of alarming your fragile state of mind at the moment, could we please take this conversation to my bedroom?"

Quinn halted their forward progression and pretended to ponder Rachel's question, "You know, I think that's the most polite way you've ever asked me that!"

Rachel feigned a gasp, "Quinn! I'm appalled. I am in no shape for one of your sexual escapades."

Quinn snorted, keeping her arm around Rachel's waist as they, finally, made it to Rachel's room, "Leave it to you, Berry, to turn my romantic gestures into 'sexual escapades'. Get into bed, I'll get your movies."

Rachel obliged Quinn and gently flopped into bed. She watched Quinn disarrange her movies with her head cocked to the side. "Quinn?"

"Hm?" Quinn asked while adding Phantom of the Opera to the pile.

"Are you sure I'm not allowed to kiss you?"

Quinn stiffened as her fingers curled around Funny Girl, "Yes, Rachel."

She heard a groan from behind her and she could just picture Rachel's pout, "This is causing me more pain than if they'd ripped all of my teeth out. I just thought you should know that."

Quinn smiled to herself, thinking it okay since her back was turned to Rachel and all, as she sternly scolded, "You'll thank me for this later."

She turned around with her pile of movies and let out a laugh. Rachel had her arms folded across her chest and a deep frown etched into her face. "Who knew you were so needy?"

Rachel's left eye squinted in anger, "Who knew you were such a bit-"

"Okay!" Quinn interrupted in a jolly tone, "Let's get you downstairs before you decide to turn this into a full fledge war that you, I'm sure, plan on winning."

* * *

><p>Three hours, two different kinds of soup, three bowls of ice cream, two more pain pills, and one cup of tea later, Rachel lay curled up on Quinn on the couch in the living room. They were halfway through The King and I when Rachel stirred. Quinn's arms tightened around her girlfriend as she whispered, "I thought you were asleep."<p>

Rachel blinked lazily up at her, "I was, I think… are my dads home yet?"

Quinn nodded, "They got in about an hour ago. I told them you were doing fine and probably sick to death of me by now."

Rachel chuckled and sat up on the couch, earning herself a frown from Quinn. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

Quinn made a move to stand up but Rachel physically pushed her back down, "No! Sweetheart, you helped me change, helped me move from one side of the couch to the other, fed me my soup and ice cream - although I will admit that the train noises were, unnecessary, yet adorable - held the tissue up to my nose when I needed to blow, decided I wasn't strong enough to turn up the volume on the remote, and handed me my glass every time I was thirsty. I appreciate every second of it," Rachel rushed out, seeing Quinn's dour expression, "but let me just try this one on my own, okay?"

Quinn reluctantly gave Rachel permission to go. Five minutes later, when Rachel came out of the bathroom she was greeted by Quinn who "just happened to be walking by the downstairs quest bathroom looking for the kitchen" and "really, you would think after over a year of living here that I would know my way around better than this". Rachel said nothing but allowed Quinn to wrap her arms around her and practically carry her back to the living room. Rachel admitted that she leaned on Quinn very heavily; after all, she did have surgery that day so she had a right to be tired and in need of girlfriend love.

When they were back on the couch and Rachel was back in Quinn's protective arms, Rachel let out a content sigh. "Thank you, Quinn, for taking care of me during this time of crisis."

Quinn chuckled low in her throat, "Time of crisis, yeah, something like that. What are girlfriends for? It's not like I was just going to lock you in your room and hide in my room all day."

Rachel shrugged and Quinn felt it against her chest, "Well, no. But you were there from start to finish. Who knew Quinn Fabray was such a softie?"

Quinn smiled against Rachel's neck, "Only you. To everyone else I'm still the head bitch who just happens to be dating the loser star from glee club."

Rachel laughed softly, she was clearly falling asleep, "You're nice Quinn, you know that? You're an angel."

Quinn cocked an eyebrow, "I sure as hell am an angel. Your angel to be exact. We just have to keep that bitch girlfriend of yours from dying, I don't want to have to give up you and the kick ass convertible unicorn that you come with."

Rachel groaned as she grabbed a fistful of Quinn's night shirt, "I'm never allowing anyone to give me anesthesia ever again. The pain of surgery is nothing compared to the pain of humiliation." Quinn laughed quietly and kissed the top of Rachel's head and suddenly Rachel perked up. "Quinn, can I tell you something?"

Quinn was falling asleep herself, but she shrugged, "Sure, Rach."

"I need to see you, I can't tell you if I can't see you."

Quinn's eyes were skeptic, but she twisted and turned herself and Rachel so that they were eyelevel, "Well?"

They were already close, seeing as how she was lying in Quinn's arms, so it took nothing for Rachel to lean forward and gingerly kiss Quinn. Quinn gently kissed Rachel back as a smile spread over Rachel's face.

"I win," she whispered into Quinn's lips.

Quinn whispered back, "That didn't hurt did it?" She smiled when Rachel shook her head no.

"I knew I'd win."

Quinn rolled her eyes before softly kissing Rachel again, "What, you want me to feed you some gold stars as a reward?"

Rachel let out a fake sob as she collapsed back into Quinn, "Why did I ever think having you there would be a good idea?"

Quinn nudged Rachel until they were eyelevel again. She kissed Rachel, again, and when she pulled back she mumbled, "Because you love me. And I love you. And I'm such a pathetic romantic sap that it's literally disgusting."

"It is not. Am I supposed to feel wiser?"

Quinn's eyes narrowed, "What are you rambling on about now?"

"Well, I didn't feel wiser when I got my wisdom teeth in, and I don't feel wiser now that they're out."

Quinn was silent for a moment before, "All I can say is that you don't look any wiser. If anything you look younger, which I didn't think was possible. When is the swelling supposed to go down, anyway?"

Rachel swatted Quinn's arm, "Why do I even date you? You hover over me all clingy like and then you abuse me. It's a horrid situation."

Quinn nodded seriously, "I know. I religiously plot ways to lure you in with love and then destroy your soul. You should see what I have planned for tomorrow."

There was a beat of silence before Rachel began laughing hysterically. Quinn pulled her closer as the shorter girl's legs started slightly kicking from how hard she was laughing. Quinn laughed along, "This is why you date me."

Rachel snuggled back into Quinn, setting one hand on Quinn's abs under her shirt and the other on her waist. Quinn turned off the TV and fixed the blanket over them so they could sleep. "It's really not disgusting, you know."

"You're man hands, you know."

"You still love to hold them."

"And you."

"And me," Rachel said with a smile as she fell asleep, grateful for both the pain medication and Quinn. Well, mostly for Quinn.


End file.
